Relationships

Once again I have been neglecting you dear readers, and once again I have no legitimate excuse.

So this morning, as I sit in bed with my coffee wearing my “Jane Austen is my Homegirl” hoodie I have finished up two half written blogs and am getting through some more.

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships recently. Whether I am for or against them. Whether I think I am ready or not.

With so many of my friends recently splitting from long-time partners I sometimes think, if they can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?  On the opposite side of the spectrum I then have friends who are in a relationship that is so baffling to me I wonder why they stay together.

A few conversations with a colleague during a caramel latte run also gave me food for thought about the nature of human beings.  But mostly what has got me thinking is that after a recent date with a very lovely boy I was surprised at my sheer state of panic as the date drew to a close.

Clearly I am not ready for this  Clearly, The Ex fucked me up even more than I initially thought, to the point where I am so protective of my freshly mended heart that the thought of letting someone near it’s whole – yet still incredibly fragile state terrifies me.

When embarking on a flirtation it’s easy to let your guard down but as soon as that turns into something a little more than casual banter it can get scary.

The problem is, I don’t think that people can understand unless they too have been through a similar situation, and this sort of thing is so difficult to talk about with real-life humans, particularly ones that you know.  Therefore I use this blog as my therapy.

Apologies.