Growing Up?

Today two of my dearest friends and former housemates had a baby boy, their second and a little brother for Miss Indi.

As the happy glow of receiving the announcement text wore off, I started thinking about how much changes in such a short amount of time.  To me it seems like only yesterday that my housemates and I were partying hard in London, watching porn and doing lines of the coffee table on a Sunday afternoon.  The amount of Jack Daniels consumption on weekends led to the investment of a JD coloured carpet. 

Now, two are engaged, with a house and 2 kids, another just got married last week, another is married with a baby on the way, another two have been together in a grown-up relationship for nearly two years. 

And me... well.  I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I am doing with my life.

Still single, still zero idea what I want to do with myself and still not done having adventures.  Are we supposed to have it all figured out by 26?  

Should I be wanting a relationship and a mortgage and children of my own yet?  I know my mother is slightly distressed that her only child has no inclination to produce grandchildren any time soon.   My father is trying to get me to buy property.  But I'm still a bit "meh".  I could spend half my wage each week on a mortgage, or I could go on lush holidays accompanied by Mimco handbags, Ray Ban sunnies and Jimmy Choo's, and drown myself in French Martini's. 

Subconsciously, maybe my reluctance to grow up properly is a defence mechanism against another heartbreak like the last.  Alternatively, it's highly possible that I'm just a selfish being who doesn't want to let anyone into my own little world.

Either way, I welcome Master Charlie into the world and wish him luck

Babies

Newborn babies are scary. I know we are supposed to be all gaga for them, but I have a pathological fear of them.

Today I held Miss Halle for the first time.  Born on the day that Australia got it’s first ginger Prime Minister, I expect good things from that girl.

But while I was holding her I realised that she is so utterly dependent on me for this short time that I had control over her. This teeny tiny blob that 4 days ago was in her Mummy’s tummy can’t hold her head up, can’t feed itself and can’t wipe it’s own bottom.

That’s a lot of pressure for someone with a hangover to deal with.

Deep down though, as I was cradling her in my arms, whilst her Mum laughed at my complete uncomfortableness, I did hear the faint faint sounds of my hidden biological clock ticking away.

I quickly silenced it however upon my return home with a glass of wine and some camembert – neither of which I would be apparently allowed to have if I was knocked up.

The Most Fun You Can Have

Today I ventured down to the Gold Coast to see my very good friends Ali, Andre and baby Indi.  As always I had a lovely time, and that child is a delight to be around and makes my biological clock start to tick tock.

Saturday we went to Dreamworld (A theme park a’la Thorpe Park or Universal Studios for my overseas readers).  I am adamant that a waterslide, rollercoaster, hot dog and children’s TV characters combined is the most fun a girl can have without Vodka and boys.

Whilst lining up for another go on one of the most awesome waterslides EVER, my childlike enthusiasm could not be contained. One of the boys who was with us asked me how old I was.. but I do not mind.  I was enjoying myself immensely. 

When your weary or feeling small, when tears are in your eyes.. forget crossing that bridge over troubled waters. What you need is to shoot down into a massive cone of water on an inflatable tube. 

It will put a MASSIVE smile on your face. 

What’s That Strange Ticking Noise?

On the weekend I was delighted to finally meet two of my very best friends 5 week old Daughter, Miss Indi. 

I used to be a very baby-oriented girl.  I couldn’t get enough of them and all I wanted to do was get married and have babies. But after massive heartbreak and too much time spent being exposed to spoilt, bratty, smelly screaming children I thought perhaps not.

But then you meet a baby, that is part of two people that you love, and you automatically love them back.  Miss Indi looked at me with those massive blue eyes, smiled a bit... and then I felt that strange sensation that all women of a certain age will recognise.  My biological clock started ticking. 

This scared me a little bit.  I’m nowhere near ready for a baby.  I’m too selfish, and have got far too much life to live, still so much that I want to see and do before I become 100% responsible for another human being.

I successfully managed to prepare her formula, ,feed her, burp her, wipe up her drool and put her to sleep (by singing Bat Out Of Hell, naturally).  To be completely honest, I was beaming with pride.  I can take care of something without killing it, dropping it or making it sick. For a few hours at least. Today as I left the Gold Coast, I found that I was very sad to say goodbye. 

But oh boy is it nice to give them back when they scream and poo.  So biological clock.. you may be ticking.  But I’m definitely going to be hitting “snooze” for a few years..