The Downside of Exercise?

In my 26.5 years I have found precisely two forms of exercise that I enjoy.

One, involves music, and moving my feet and getting sweaty to the beats of salsa, merengue, forro, bachata, gaffeira and samba, or wrapping my legs around a pole and swinging. 

The second involves wrapping my legs around a different sort of pole, and also getting rather sweaty. 

After a year of near-celibacy (apart from 3 delicious encounters) and a back injury that put an end to any dreams I had of becoming an exotic dancer I’ve decided to do something about my now flabby thighs and muffin top by returning to the latin scene with Zumba.

Tonight I went with Lady Smash and it was brilliant. Exhausting but brilliant. However, whilst I am delighted at the prospect of having cellulite free legs and a non-wobbly bottom, I have a very deep fear.

I am terrified that I will lose my boobs.  The girls, since their sudden appearance in 2005, have been very good to me, assisting me in getting free mechanic repairs on my car, free drinks, service at crowded bars and intimidating my colleagues.  They were, I thought, my meal ticket to the good life.

What happens if all this exercise shrinks them back to their early twenties state? I’ll lose my ego-boost that I get from having the girls proudly on display.  Because let’s face it, it’s always the FIRST place you lose weight.  I think it would be a truly wonderful thing if you could tell your body… “Please take the muffin top from my waist and transplant it evenly onto my right and left breasts, thank you”.

So readers, you may think I’m silly, but it would be like losing part of your personality.

I suppose the fantastic legs will make up for it in the end. And if the worst happens… well boob job it is.

Awesomeness.

I have never been one for exercise or physical fitness. I just don’t like it.  It’s hot, sweaty and I go BRIGHT red when I exert myself (downfall of being a ginger). 

But I am feeling surprisingly awesome after last nights Pole Dancing class. I could feel the burn in my legs as my instructor drilled us over and over again, and I pushed myself as hard as I could.

And today I’m sore, and am COVERED in Bruises.. but I feel awesome.

Perhaps there is something in this exercise is good for you theory after all.  Which is a shame really, because if it does I’ll have to do more.  Blugh.

Ouch

Having a break from exercise is a very bad idea.  I had a few weeks of pole dancing due to illness and laziness, and now I am very very sore.  So sore in fact, I can barely move my arms. 

I am struggling even to write this to be honest. as the strength required to type means slightly moving my arms.

Heaven forbid what I feel like tomorrow.

You Spin Me Round

Today I had my first pole dancing lesson. 

I fricking loved it!  There is something incredibly empowering about strutting around a shiny metal pole in a pair of killer heels to a catchy tune. 

I’ve always had an aptitude for dancing, been able to pick routines up easily and hear the beat in music.  Most of my dance experience is in Salsa and other latin styles.. but I have found a new passion. 

Quite frankly I don’t think I’ll be content until I’ve completely mastered it.  Today I learnt how to climb the pole and do a backwards shimmy style thing whilst up there. Amazingly good fun.  I want to be able to do spins and go upside down and other fancy things. 

But boy oh boy am I going to be sore tomorrow! Have got massive chaffing between my legs and I can feel muscles in my back going “Ahhh what have you done to me!”. Give me a few months and I’m going to have rock hard thighs!

Watching myself in the mirror tonight I felt energised, happy and incredibly sexy.