Eclipse – A Review

Yesterday I saw Eclipse – Part 3 in the Twilight Saga. Book 3 is by far my favourite in the series, and to be honest, it was also my least favourite film.

CLEARLY R-Patz & K-Stew are shagging each other thoroughly off-camera, because their chemistry on screen has gone from sizzling to tepid.

They hurry through a semi-well constructed plot, and don’t focus nearly enough on what is important, young men who are missing their shirts.

Charlie is once again the amusing and doting father. The teens from Forks High don’t get nearly enough screen time, and I hardly think that the supporting cast deserve the exuberant pays they are getting for the limited screen time (as recently detailed in a selection of trashy magazines).

However I did still enjoy Edwards smouldering looks (what I wouldn’t do to strip that boy down and lick him all over while he spoke to me in his British accent.. phwoar) and on the whole it was two hours of enjoyable escapism, highlighted by the preview for Deathly Hallows before the film started (more on that later).

But quite frankly, I’m not entirely sure why either of those boys put up with Bella and her scarlet-woman ways. How dare she engage herself to one man, then kiss another passionately?  It is incredibly unladylike to toy with a boys affections in such away, and I wish she got her comeuppance.

However I have read the 4th book, and alas, I know that she gets everything her heart desires.

Bitch.

New Moon vs The Vatican. New Moon Wins.

Yesterday I waited in line, clutching my tickets to see the latest instalment in the Twilight Saga “New Moon”.

I am a big fan of the books and found the movie highly enjoyable, very silly, and the audience comprised of 15 year old girls made me giggle with glee every time one of them whoop whooped at Jacob Black’s bare, buff and quite frankly delicious chest.

What I find interesting is the public reaction to the Twilight phenomenon. It reminds me of Pottermania of about 5 years ago, and it seems it is provoking the same amount of furore from the Vatican. 

Pope Benedict the whatever number he is publicly denounced the “subtle seductions” in Harry Potter, going on about how it promotes Un-Christian values towards Children (this is despite JK Rowling being a Christian herself and the whole 7 books being about the battle between good and evil, friendship and love).

Today it is Twilight that is angering the Holy people at the Vatican. Monsignor Franco Perazzolo has claimed that Twilight is a “deviant moral vacuum.. a mixture of excesses aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element”. 

The first thing I did after reading this was of course look up the word esoteric (adj. Intended for or understood by only a particular group: an esoteric cult). The second thing I did was wonder why people take things so seriously.  I am the first person to admit I got carried away by the Harry Potter universe and have devoured the Twilight series with a hunger that surprised even myself. 

I think that perhaps the Vatican is a bit jealous, and without reason.  I mean, the bible is still the best selling book of all time and has more die-hard fans than all the Potter-heads and Twi-hards put together. So why complain? Are they worried that Rowling and Meyers are cutting into their book sales?  Jealous that whilst both series have hugely successful movie franchises, all they have is “The Passion of the Christ” and a few old Charlton Heston movies from the 50s? 

The quote that I liked best in this article (Saturdays Courier Mail) is that they think that the, and I quote, “the sex appeal of Robert Pattinson will have wider ramifications among Gnereation Y”.  I would like to know what these wider ramifications are? Pale will become cool? Men will become deliciously scruffy? All sounds pretty good to me! 

Twilight is not evil. It is not a cult. It is 4 books and 2 movies (so far) about a delicious love story, that has a legion of dedicated followers. Vampires and Werewolves are, I think, secondary to the romance.

And, in closing, as a Team Edward fan.. seriously Bella, quit being such a whore!  Getting poor Jacob all worked up then saying, sorry don’t need you anymore? Such a prick tease.