Tennis Season Over

Tonight is the Australian Open Grand Final.  Roger Federer v Andy Murray. 

I am not a tennis fan.  Mainly because my Mother’s side of the family are all tennis nuts and tried to force their enthusiasm upon me.  My Granny used to be a pro-tennis player when she was very young and turned her nose up at me when I told her I could not be bothered to watch Wimbledon. 

But tonight I will watch the final.  And as much as I like Federer, I want Andy Murray (and his sexy Scottish accent) to win his first Grand Slam.  Roger’s won plenty and should share the love.

Beyond My Control

It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as you make the executive decision to cut something or someone from your life, it or they will immediately pop back into it.

Not that this is always a bad thing, but it leads to lots of confusion in my head.   This happened over the past week.  Just as I made the decision to stop whoring around and be off men for awhile, I make a date to go and see a guy I was really rather into. 

I thought to myself, it’ll be fine, it’ll be good to see him, because I do enjoy their company.  And it was good, too good. Now I have stupid feelings again.  I really would rather not have feelings for people, especially not until I am 100% sure that they reciprocate.  But this really is something beyond anyone’s control.  You can never help how you feel about something.  Whether its a boy, a food or a song.

But as I drove home I thought to myself, quit making such a big deal out of things.  It has been a habit of mine for years to over analyse situations, and think too much about things. Therefore, from now on, I am just going to take things as they come. Not make grand sweeping statements about how I am not going to do things, but just see what comes up on the way. 

Good plan. And an good weekend. Now where’s my wine?

Punctuality. A Lost Virtue

I was brought up to respect starting times. But it seems in today’s society people think it is perfectly acceptable to be half an hour late for a meeting.

I am not one of these people.  If you advertise that your event starts at 7, I will be there no later than 7.10pm.  Why? Because I am punctual.  If I tell you that I am having a dinner at 6.30, that does not mean you are to arrive at 6.45.. it means that I will have dinner ready to be served at 6.30. 

Being left waiting for someone to arrive is not something I enjoy.  It makes me feel like you cannot be bothered to show up on time, that you don’t actually care about me all that much. 

Likewise, if we have pre-arranged plans, I do not appreciate you cancelling on me, telling me that you will be a few hours or saying you are just popping to another party first.  You have made plans with me. Therefore keep them.

Punctuality seems to be lost on everyone these days.  And not just people, television stations are notorious for shows running late.  I do not care if there is some crappy live reality TV show on, I would prefer my 8.30 show to start promptly at 8.30. 

So dear readers, I challenge you all to make 2010 the year of being on time for things.  The year of punctuality!

The One A Myth?

Reading my RSS feeds today I came across an article entitled “Settle For Mr Second Best to be Happy”

Lori Cottileb has claimed that “The One” is a myth.  Perhaps it is, perhaps it isn’t.  But really, should you settle? Do I want to settle? Not really.  I don’t want to settle for someone and then spend the rest of my life thinking that there could be someone else out there.

I find myself wondering how many of my married friends got married for the sake of it.  I think at least some of them.  I know a lot of girls in relationships that are just in it because its easy.

I don’t want to be one of those girls.  I mean I’d like a boyfriend, but if it never happens I think I’d rather be alone than spend my life with someone I wasn’t passionate about.

Her book also says that you have to find the person you want in your twenties otherwise you’ll be lonely in your thirties.

Hmm.. so I’ve either got three years to find someone to marry or end up lonely and infertile.  Think it’s time for another glass of wine.

Confused

This having a public holiday on a weekday business has thrown my whole week off. It feels like Monday, but its Wednesday. Tomorrow is Thursday which means I have to organise my weekend, and yet it still feels like its only Tuesday.

It’s messed up my washing day and my sheets day, my library day and making my lunches.

I am very confused.

Australia Day

Australia Day - a day where we commemorate the first settlement of Australia.  Where we celebrate all things Australian.

To be honest, I wish I was more patriotic. Because I’m not. I enjoy a national day of celebration but as I looked at a beer garden full of drunk bogans chanting Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie I thought. BLUGH. 

As I live in a free country I am going to tell you what I don’t love about Australia.

• Australians cockiness when it comes to sporting event. I actually like it when we lose.
• Australians who have never left the country proclaiming that we are the greatest county in the world.  If you have seen some of the world, you are in a valid position to make this claim. If you have not been further away than Hamilton Island that you are not.
• The heat and the hot hot sun. Makes the months from November – March unbearable to go outside.
• Pollen. There is too many evil pollens and grasses that make me sneeze and itch.
• The millions of insects that insist on biting me and then make me itch. 

Happy Australia Day

Fish in the Sea? Where is this Sea?

I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days about my no shenanigans.  I’m quite pleased with this decision.

The problem is it means no action until I meet someone I like.  The secondary problem is it is impossible to meet anyone. Especially here on the Sunshine Coast.

I’d like to pose a question to you all dear readers.  How do you meet someone?  Friends of friends? Well that’s out – I’ve exhausted all those possibilities. Through work? Nope that’s out, everyone in my workplace is either married or a woman. Online? Tried that and it was a massive fail. Out? Well everyone is about 12 at the Sunshine Coast clubs, and quite frankly I am after a man not a boy.

So I’m in a bit of a pickle.  Not that I am actively seeking a boyfriend, but it would nice to meet some new people.  I figure my best bet is to wait for a divorcee from one of these early marriages that everyone seems to do around here.  

In the meantime I have my banana pillow… and that aint bad.

Why I Love Top Gear

Top Gear is by far, one of my favourite shows in television.

It’s not about the cars, but the personalities. 3 middle aged men who struck it lucky with a television show now beloved by millions.  And without them it wouldn’t have been a hit. 

They are all such characters.  Arrogant, stuck up and most of all men messing about and being men. And their personalities I think make them rather attractive. 

I don’t care that they (well Clarkson particularly) are often offensive, sometimes sexist and many times politically incorrect. 

I don’t even mind that in that now they know what works and stage a lot of their arguments and mishaps.  Because they amuse me. And I love them for it.

Saturday in the Pool

Today I attended a pool party to celebrate Australia Day.  Whilst I am not particularly patriotic, I do enjoy outdoor festivities with novelty items just as much the next person. 

There is nothing boring about a day in the pool with inflatable animals, pool volleyball, sausages in bread, a bit of backyard cricket and a carton of UDL’s.

Such a shame I ended up with a sunburnt back after I insisted that I would never ever get sunburnt again.

A highly enjoyable day had by all.

NEWSFLASH… Man Opens Packet of Chips

I love RSS News Feeds. Especially the Weird True Freaky ones, they are always thought provoking and often hilarious. 

I was astounded that this one from Wednesday actually made the news at all:

“A Darwin man has opened a boy of chips and found only one inside”

The story then goes on to call him an “innocent snack attack victim”. 

A victim?? Really?? With the War on Terror, the tragedy in Haiti and all the general doom and gloom in the world, surely news.com and The Northern Territory News have more important things to say. 

Read the article here: http://www.news.com.au/weird-true-freaky/man-opens-bag-of-cheese-rings-finds-one/story-e6frflri-1225821651358?from=public_rss

Inspiration on the Loo

I wonder how many great thoughts have occurred whilst sitting upon the loo.

For as long as I can remember, we have had a calendar on the back of the toilet door that Mum writes all the people we know birthdays on.  Each year we pick something pretty, like Greek Islands etc.

This year we have some artists calendar. It seems a mix of expressionism and realism.  January is a scenic picture of an old lighthouse and a cottage perched on top of a cliff. 

And this scene has inspired the basic premises of my book that I have been trying to write for a year.  Not my memoir books, but my romance novel.  But I can’t give any more away.. not yet anyway.

A Night Out With Lily

Last night I went and saw Lily Allen live at the Brisbane Riverstage. 

I enjoy live music.  Actually, I enjoy any excuse for an evening out but an evening out with live music and a stage always puts me in a good mood.

I’m quite a big Lily Allen fan.  Her latest album, “It’s Not Me, It’s You” is full of songs that when I first heard them spoke directly to my then broken and aching heart.  They made me feel a little bit better. I could sing “Fuck You” and “since you’ve been gone I’ve lost that chip off my shoulder” and felt like I was expressing my inner thoughts. So I enjoyed myself last night.

What I don't enjoy is pop stars (in fact celebrity’s in general) need to express their political views.  Whilst I love Lily’s music, her opinions on America, The Taliban and the War on Terror mean diddly-squat to me. 

Despite this I still had a very enjoyable evening, heightened by frequently casting my eyes toward (from a considerable distance anyway) the hot drummer. It seems to be an unspoken rule that drummers are attractive.

So my overall opinion is that Lily provides a good cheerful night out (although maybe not quite $93 worth of a night out).  I’ll sign off today with one of my favourite verses of a song ever, which I think all young women can relate too..

“So I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed, I’m feeling pretty damn hard by I spent ages giving head”

So True…

Midnight Tuesday

SOO Tired.. Midnight.. Home from Lily Allen in BrisVegas.

Off to bed.. so no blog today ppl! Sorry!  x

Summertime.

Why do people idolise summer? 

Today was 36 degrees. I do not have air conditioning in my car.  I was sweating and damp all day.  The house was stifling hot when I came home.  I nearly passed out in dance class tonight because of the heat and was so sweaty I couldn’t grip the pole.

Summer is horrible! People get grumpy, there is shitty kids everywhere, if you go outside you get sunburnt, you get horrible boobs sweat, its not fun doing anything active and its too hot to sleep. 

Blugh.  Bring on winter!

King Henry VIII - Phwoar

I am currently watching The Tudors and loving it.  There’s more scandals, affairs, treachery, skulduggery and naked men than any episode of Bold and the Beautiful. 

What makes it even better is that it's all based on real events. Obviously it has historical inaccuracies (Wasn’t King Henry a ginger? And tubby?) and is dramatised for television, but it still makes for juicy viewing.

I find myself wishing I was part of the Tudor court, wearing a tight corset with my bosom busting out.  I wish my hair was lavishly decorated and I was adorned with jewels whilst some courtier ravished me. 

I suppose I will have to make do with daydreaming for now… until I get my time machine working anyway

Only In America

I very much enjoy reading my RSS feeds.  My favourite is the weird news stories subscription I have through news.com.au.  Today I laughed at out loud at someone else's misfortune and thought to myself “Only in America”.

Apparently a woman in New York is suing a Scandinavian themed Manhattan restaurant because A stuffed moose fell on her.

I do not get the fascination with American’s suing people.  Whatever happened to “Shit Happens?”.  Sometime life just wants to take the piss and drop a 68 kilo Moose on your head. 

The woman is claiming that she lost cognitive skills, suffered neck pain, dizziness, anxiety and embarrassment.  What a load of codswallop.  She got a bump on the head, which would have knocked her around a bit for a day or two.  Suing for embarrassment?  Well in that case I better go and sue the street, because it made me fall over the other day.  Oh and I better sue the wind for blowing my skirt up so everyone could see my novelty “Hello Sailor!” knickers.

This was an ACCIDENT.  And if Americans want to improve their global reputation they should quit suing each other over such menial things, then we’d have one less thing to laugh about.

Google vs China

I don’t often comment on political news, but I am currently baffled by the whole Google vs China saga.  (This may explain it better - http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-approach-to-china.html?utm_campaign=en&utm_source=en-ha-ww-ww-bk-cn&utm_medium=ha&utm_term=google%20china )

I wish that I understood this matter more so I could make some insightful comments. But I don’t. 

This is what I have gathered – Google thought China was a lucrative market, so decided to cave in to their censorship demands.  China goes all Big Brother and starts cyber-spying and reading peoples emails.  Google tell China to shove it. 

Well done Google, but let’s think about this.. I’m not sure China care.  China have been doing exactly whatever they please for as long as I can remember.  From my studies of China in Modern history I have never thought very highly of them.  Sure, the Great Wall is pretty great.. but the Tiananmen Square massacre kind of puts a damper on that.  I’m not saying that Australia or any other country doesn’t have their own shameful past.  What I’m saying is, the world can say and do what they like.. I’m pretty sure that China doesn’t give a hoo-ha. 

And now I’m going to go and remove all personal information from the internet..

 

Holding Out

I’ve been thinking a lot about boys lately – even more than usual.  2009 was a year spent trying to mend my broken heart and making out with many boys.  Don’t get me wrong, I met a few that I actually liked. One I was pretty much smitten with.  But distance was a problem.
The truth is, whilst my hormones are as raging as ever, I am bored with hooking up pointlessly with random boys.  I think I’d much rather wait for a bit until I meet someone I actually like.  Perhaps it is better when you have feelings for someone?
Oh well, we’ll see how long I stick to my guns.  I give it until my next glass of White Wine!

Home alone

My Ma & Dad are currently away on vacation visiting family in Melbourne.  This pleases me greatly because as whilst I love them very much, this whole living together business is a strain on us all.

My problem is, I got home from work yesterday, and was so excited to have the place to myself that I had donuts for dinner, didn’t make my lunch for work, drank too much wine and watched crap TV I didn’t even want to watch.  And now the kitchen is already a mess.  All in approximately 15 hours. 

Am because in that time I could have been doing something productive like writing, or doing the washing. 

And now I have two days worth of crappy blogs and a shortage practical knickers, and am therefore having to wear lacy fire-engine red French Knickers with diamante trim to work.  I’m going to have a wedgy all day.

Ponderings On An Evenings Viewings

I’ve come to the conclusion that even beautiful talented people make bad decisions.

Reese Witherspoon has been in many awesome movies and is quite a good actress. But really – Legally Blonde 2? Possibly the worst movie I have seen since A Very Brady Sequel…

Also just noticed the guy who does the Oz Lotto draw is the guy who used to host Saturday Disney when I was small. Hmmm.

And the US Office has NOTHING on Ricky Gervais!

Ugh! I’m having another glass of wine.

You Spin Me Round

Today I had my first pole dancing lesson. 

I fricking loved it!  There is something incredibly empowering about strutting around a shiny metal pole in a pair of killer heels to a catchy tune. 

I’ve always had an aptitude for dancing, been able to pick routines up easily and hear the beat in music.  Most of my dance experience is in Salsa and other latin styles.. but I have found a new passion. 

Quite frankly I don’t think I’ll be content until I’ve completely mastered it.  Today I learnt how to climb the pole and do a backwards shimmy style thing whilst up there. Amazingly good fun.  I want to be able to do spins and go upside down and other fancy things. 

But boy oh boy am I going to be sore tomorrow! Have got massive chaffing between my legs and I can feel muscles in my back going “Ahhh what have you done to me!”. Give me a few months and I’m going to have rock hard thighs!

Watching myself in the mirror tonight I felt energised, happy and incredibly sexy.

Simple Pleasures

Simple things are putting a massive smile on my face lately.  And this weekend was a weekend of simple pleasures. 

Some childish fun with ice skating and happy meals.  An afternoon spent chilling by the pool with good company. A night out dancing, drinking and flirting with good friends. A day recovering with some laughs and some fried food.  A text message from a boy I fancy. 

Topped off with an english muffin smothered in peanut butter. 

Life does not get much better than this really! 2010 = A good year!

Revisiting My Youth

 

Today I am off to relive my youth at the Caloundra Rollerdrome.  Can’t wait!

I think that many people my age have lost touch with “Playing”.  Sure there is drinking and bedtime play.. but I’m  not talking about that.  I’m talking about actually playing, kicking a ball around, playing hide and seek, building a fort. I think at any age it is fun!   I reckon this is why Grandparents enjoy themselves so much, their Grandkids force them to play games and stuff again.

So today I am going ice-skating… in the middle of summer. Awesome! 

PS… HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY to one of my very best friends!! Looking forward to an awesome night out!

Your Hot Then Your Cold…

Men are annoying me a little at the moment.  Firstly they are upsetting at least 3 of my very good girlfriends.  But mainly this Hot and Cold business that they try and pull has GOT to stop.

There were a few men in the manchise as you know dear readers, and to be honest.. I am going to remove all of them from the pool.  I am tired of “I can’t wait to see you bla bla bla” texts and then NOTHING for ages. 

I am a good catch.  I scrub up  nicely, can be a domestic goddess when the mood strikes me and am obliging in the bedroom.  And yes, I can be a little crazy and my tendency to express exactly how I am feeling at any given time can scare men off.  But apart from that I think that I am a pretty good woman.   

So QUIT it!  Either be nice to me and communicate with me frequently (it doesn’t have to be daily.. but a couple of times a week would be nice) or piss off and leave me alone.  Don’t get me all confused by a month of silence then send a flirtatious text message.  And don’t blame when when you realise what you are missing… it’s your own fault.

Writers Block

I am having a severe case of writers block.  Perhaps because I’ve been thinking lots in my new job.  Perhaps because I have less interaction with the public these day.  Maybe it’s because I’m sexually frustrated.  Alternatively it could be because I am happy and life is good at the moment. 

Hopefully tonight and tomorrow I will have interesting dreams, or have something amusing happen at dinner tomorrow night, so I can regale you all with an amusing tale. 

New Years Resolution Fulfilled

It’s the first week of 2010 and I am starting to think about what awesome things I am going to do this year, and how I am going to fulfil my new years resolutions.

I made a good step in the right direction yesterday when I enrolled in pole dancing classes.  I start next Monday and I can’t wait!  I did a Burlesque dancing course in London and have been itching to take it up again.  Plus dancing in general makes me feel fantastic. It’s good for your health, your body, your mood and kicks ass over sitting in a gym.  Gyms are scary places full of sweat and angry fit people.  

So next Tuesday I am going to be in excruciating pain, but it will be worth it when I am all slender and bendy.  Plus boys get a wee twinkle in their eye when you tell them about it. 

The Desk Job.. How I Have Missed You!

Today is my second day in my new job.  I am loving it.

Over the past year I have really missed working in an office.  Office's are climate controlled, you don't have to deal with customers, wear a uniform (unless you have very mean bosses) and you have unlimited tea and coffee on tap.

There's stationary cupboards full of lovely new pens and highlighters, nice people to chat too and in this office, lots of shiny fancy Mac computers (which my PC oriented brain is struggling to adapt to - in fact I had to ask someone how to turn my machine on this morning).

The only thing my new office is missing (apart from not being close to a corner shop for the inevitable 3pm Coke and Chocolate run) is a selection of young single men to watch when one is need of cheering up.  But you can't have everything.

Dog & Cats

I'm currently house sitting whilst my friend and her husband are on
vacation.  She has two dogs, a cat and two kittens.

Dog sitting is far more complicated than baby sitting.  I have baby sat an infant for a couple of hours and it was relatively easy to prepare her food, feed her, burp her and put her to sleep.  And if you just plonk her down she'll go to sleep.

Dogs, on the other hand, jump all over you, whinge if you don't play with them, drool on you a lot more than babies do and make just as much noise.

Kittens poo smells worse and they move like lightening, so you spend half your time chasing them around the house.

Give me baby sitting any day.

Housesitting

 

Am staying in a house with no internet connection! Eek! No Blog Today!

2000 – 2009: A Decade In Review

Today is the 2nd of January 2010.  The second day of the year and the second day of the new decade.

The “Noughties” was a decade of change for me.

2000: Year 12, don’t work as hard as I should have but received good grades nonetheless. Am awkward looking, all legs, ass and arms as boobs have not yet arrived.  Awful fashion sense.  Very sad to leave school.

2001: Started university.  Studying (to my dismay) business, when would have rather been studying at NIDA or similar.  Think about leaving but decide to stick it out as was the easy thing to do.  Hoped to make lots of new friends at university, but found that it was as cliquey as High School.

2002: Year two of university.  Change my major from Tourism (pft.. what a joke) to International Business.  Decide that I want to travel. Obtain drivers license and first car – a 1987 Toyota Cressida with blue velour interior. Pa dies. 

2003: Final year of university.  Finish degree successfully, but having not tried nearly as hard as I should have.  Finally hook up with boy I had had crush on for year.  Boobs arrive. 

2004: Embark on a camping trip of Europe and see things I have dreamed about seeing all my life. Travel to Dublin, France, Spain, Andorra, Switzerland, Austria, Italy, Corfu, Germany, Liechtenstein. Set out on my new life in London but quickly find that it was more expensive that I thought and had no chance of getting a decent job.  Return home with tail between legs.  Get job in Real Estate.  Turn 21.

2005: A bleak year where I realise coming home from London was stupidest thing I had ever done.  Despise my job.  Take up Latin Dancing and quickly become very good at it. See Meat Loaf in concert. 

2006: Have nervous breakdown and run away from Sunshine Coast.  Arrive Terminal 1 Heathrow 19th June.  Bum around for awhile.  Go to Prague, Liverpool. Live in a hostel. Have heaps of fun drinking.  Hook up with lots of boys.  First cold Christmas. Work in a bookstore.

2007: Meet THE-Ex and start a disastrous 2 year love affair destined to end in tears.  Travel to Amsterdam, Dublin, Croatia.  Get a job in television.  Meet some of the best friends I have ever had. Spend Christmas in Scottish Highlands alone as THE-Ex was off cheating on me on a ski trip. 

2008: Move out of hostel into The Vale.  Ditch THE-Ex.  Meet the loveliest boy in the world, who I treated terribly.  Travel to Turkey, Oktoberfest, Copenhagen, Sweden, La Tomatina Festival and all around the UK.  Meet some more of the best friends I have ever had.  Do good in career. Start seeing THE-Ex again.  Leave London in a blaze of glory to return home.  Turn 25. Job prospects look bleak.  Very depressed end to the year.  But best New Years Eve ever.

2009: Go to Perth, have heart broken by THE-Ex again.  Spend a miserable 6 months on the dole due to the Global Financial Crisis.  Granny dies. Get job in supermarket.  Meet some friends at job, but find my soul slowly dying from mindless, monotonous job.  Turn 26.  Pleasant Christmas & New Years. Finally get a career job to start on January 4th. 

So that’s my decade in review.  Bring on the next decade, which there still seems to be much debate as to what we are calling it.  The teens? The tens?  I hope someone decides soon. 

New Years

So last night was fun.  Still an overrated evening, but was just as enjoyable as any other night out. 

It probably ranks in the top 5 best new years. But last years still beats them all.

Ridiculously hung over today and not at all coping with anything. So am going to watch Series 9 of Friends and feel sorry for myself in bed.