The Past is the Past

Good old Facebook. It is through no fault of my own, that I have recently been reminded of He-who-must-not-be-named, and the goings on of a previous lifetime.

This is one deep flaw with social media. It is impossible to forget the drunken nights, the failed relationships.

Status Update?

Today, I’d like to pose a question to you all – when is the appropriate time in a relationship to change your Facebook Status?

Certainly you don’t want to jump in too early, nor do you want to be the first to do so. Likewise, I don’t want to delay the matter too long.

It’s a funny thing really, and a serious part of modern day relationship politics. I mean, I post that I am “in a relationship” and essentially I am screaming to the world that “Yippee! I have a boyfriend”. Then there is the huge risk that you change your status, and two weeks later “.. is no longer listed in a relationship” – your misfortune apparent for all to see.

I also have the dilemma of I can’t see what his relationship status is. After the conscious decision to not become friends on Facebook (after all, I don’t want to turn into crazy stalking girlfriend constantly questioning who that girl is in that photo) I am not privileged to this information.

So, to change, or not to change, that is the question!

Facebook: Taking the Mystery out of the World

I’m coming up shortly to my ten year high school reunion.  An ominous affair which I am not sure whether or not I am looking forward to.

The thing is.. with Facebook “re-connecting” people from your past, I know what 75% of my former class mates are up to, or at least what they want the world to think they are up to, via status updates and photos.

Today I ran into one of my good friends from high school, and over the years had completely lost contact with.  I knew immediately that the attractive blonde was his wife, I knew that he had a fabulous job.. and I knew it all from facebook. 

In fact, I know who got married, had kids, got boob jobs, got engaged, moved away etc etc because Facebook tells me on a daily basis.

The only people that I am curious as to what happened to them in the past 10 years is the people who are not on Facebook, and who are also therefore are unlikely to attend the organised-on-Facebook reunion. 

Has our addiction to social networking taken all the mystery out of the world?  In the days before the internet one could day-dream about ex-lovers being utterly miserable, or the mean girl from school getting fat.  Now, through Facebook, I am aware of the truth that your ex is happily shacked up with his new family he left you for, rather than suffering a severe case of genital warts and premature balding.  I also know that the mean girls from my past are all looking obscenely fabulous, which irks me greatly. 

Whilst I’d never be one to ditch my social networking (am far too addicted), I dream of the day when I run into someone from my past, and can be honestly surprised at their news.

The Downfall to Social Networking.

Social networking was thrust upon us all a few years ago, and for what its worth I’m glad it did.

The pitfall of Facebook however, is that you are always going to find things out you would rather not. Like seeing pictures of someone cheating on you.  Or seeing friends in photos at events that you were clearly not invited to. 

And just when you seem to have completely forgotten about your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart into a million pieces, you log onto a mutual friends page to write something and find out he is having a baby. With the girl he chose over you.  And what makes it worse is you never find out this information when you are a high point and blissfully happy.

You always find out when you are in bed, off work for the second day due to a flu with pimples all over your face and boobs trying to ignore all the “Get a Date For Valentine’s Day” emails that dating websites keep sending me.

Wat Iz Wrong Wit U?

Something has been getting under my skin for awhile now. 

People seem to have lost the ability to spell.  Just because world communication is becoming increasingly focused in cyberspace, does not mean that we have to abandon the English language.

For your reference ‘something’ is NOT spelt ‘sumting’ ‘some’ is not spelt ‘sum’.  Likewise ‘Thank You"’ is not spelt ‘TY’.

Usually my facebook frustrations are caused by people joining ridiculous fan pages such as “I Love People Who Text Back Instantly” or “mentally saying "Wed-nes-day" when writing the word "Wednesday."”.  But I would never complain about them again if people would start to spell properly. 

For example… gorjus, owt, wif, dat, da, iz, ho, blimn, dis, includin, sumthing, sum1, nufin.. THESE ARE NOT WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you all pretending to be gangsters or hip hop wannabes?

Please, just remember that the English language is a beautiful thing people!  Let’s make 2010 a year of beautifully spelt prose. 

The Loneliest Time Of The Year

Today is December 1st and as I sit listening to Christmas Carols, I get that familiar tug on the heartstrings I get every year that reminds me that I am single.

In general I quite enjoy being single, I can snog and shag whoever I like, and I no longer spend my weekends washing my live-in boyfriends work clothes, shopping for food to feed him during the week and then not seeing him from Friday Night until Sunday Arvo.

But as soon as the tinsel comes out I find myself longing that I had myself a little 3 bedroom Old-Queenslander, a Christmas tree of my own to trim, a group of friends that I could bake Christmas goodness for, and someone to share it with.  All in all, the holidays are truly a terrible time to be alone.

I’m sure that this year will be better, I have finally got some friends on the Sunshine Coast that want to play with me and unlike last year, I have all my lovely things around me in our new house (even if it is my parents). But as it gets closer and closer to December it also reminds me how very far away I am from the people I love the most.

Ali, Andre and Indy (about 300kms), Saffa & My Godson (about 800kms), My Brother & Nephews (about 1800kms), Miss B (about 4000kms), My London family (16,533kms).  All so very far away. 

It’s days like this that I praise the invention of the world wide web. Because of email, Skype and Facebook I am only a click away from the people I love.  And quite frankly I’d rather wake up alone on every Christmas Morning until I die than be without my extended family of friends. 

Day 16 of 365

Once Again, (Some Of) My Facebook Friends Are Dumbasses

I have written about this before and unfortunately my friends on Facebook have continued to be dumbasses and I need to write this again.

For the love of all that is good and holy, stop becoming FANS of STUPID THINGS!! I don’t understand why people continue to do this! Join a fan page for something that is not even fan-worthy and therefore annoy Miss Ginger every time she looks at her live feed. 

The latest pointless fan pages that I have looked at in wonder are:

• Google It
• Karma
• Days Off (Because the majority of the population hates a day off!)
• Tattoos
• I Hate It When People Unexpectedly Go Offline (maybe cause they don’t want to talk to YOU!)
• Hate Waiting For A Reply Text
• Getting Paid (Everyone loves to work for free)
• Spinny Chairs (Really???)
• Pretending to Text In Awkward Situations (Who admits to this??)
• Waking Up With Unread Texts
• Saying “I Dunno” When I Can’t Be Bothered To Explain Something

These are NOT things that someone becomes a fan of!  You can be a fan of a TV Show, Celebrity, Musician, Movie, Writer.. or ACTUAL THINGS THAT HAVE FAN BASES. 

And let me point out to all of you.  Facebook know that we will all use their site regardless of how many people join groups for “Dislike Button”, “Change Facebook Back” etc etc. They don’t CARE at all!!

One last thing.. why does FB now suggest that I write on peoples walls?  “Reconnect with so-and-so” Um, no thanks. They are probably only my friend so I can be nosy without having to actually talk to them.

I don’t know why this makes me so angry, but it does. And now I have vented it out for another good six months. 

DAY/POST 3 of 365

Facebook: I am not a FAN of people becoming FANS of things

Some of you may have read my previous blog about facebook where I suggested that reading everyones status updates sometimes makes me want to stab something with the carving knife.

I now have now developed another frustration with my favourite social networking page. And it's a big one, but not with the program itself but of my friends.

WHY WHY WHY do people feel the need to validate the fact that they enjoy laughing or sleeping or many other basic things like money by joining a fan page?

To me this is the most pointless and ridiculous thing I have encountered in a very long time. The last being leggings for men.

Becoming a fan of one of the basic functions of humanity, such as sleeping, to me is the as productive as giving a goldfish a pair of tap dancing shoes.

Currently 70,541 people are fans of money. And do these people have active group discussions on the benefits of money.. or debate over whether the $5 AUS or $5 US is prettier? Or whether they should scrap the Euro? NO! (Well not that I can find anyway). They see that one of their friends has become a fan of money.. and go.. ME TOO! And then move on. I would say that the majority of the world is a fan of money. I will even go as far as saying that the Tibetan Monks, whilst maybe not desiring it like us Western Folk, probably quite enjoy have a few bucks to splash on some new robes every now and then.

I can see the value of, and have joined a few myself, ACTUAL fan pages.. that is fan pages of authors, movies, bands, shows etc.. because this is unique to different individuals and people are likely to contribute to a mildly interesting conversation.

But I really really cannot see the point in becoming a fan of cuddles, laughing, smiling, naked cuddles, sleeping, sleeping in, spooning, staying in bed, cocktails, chocolate, family, mothers, shoes, shopping, texting, kisses, children or pay day. (These are all actual fan pages.. I got them all from a friend who is a fan of 87 things)

I am all for shameless self promotion and like the voyeuristic qualities of FB.. but perhaps we are taking things a little too far?

Facebook - The Constant Reminder That Everyone is Having More Fun Than Me

I love Facebook. I do, really. Well I Did.

Recently it has just become a constant reminder that all my friends are doing one of the following

• They are "No Longer Listed as Single" to remind me that I am single
• They are "Now listed as Married/Engaged" to remind me that I am single
• Use their status to announce they are pregnant / have just had child to remind me that I am single
• They use their status to say that they don't want to go to work or that they are bored with their day to remind my that I am unemployed
• They use their status to say "Hooray it's Friday" to remind me that I am unemployed and that every day is Friday

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I am not happy for my 318 friends who's lives seem to be progressing. I just wish that I had something exciting to report to. Or that quite a few more "No longer listed as In A Relationships" pop up in my newsfeed...