Babies

Newborn babies are scary. I know we are supposed to be all gaga for them, but I have a pathological fear of them.

Today I held Miss Halle for the first time.  Born on the day that Australia got it’s first ginger Prime Minister, I expect good things from that girl.

But while I was holding her I realised that she is so utterly dependent on me for this short time that I had control over her. This teeny tiny blob that 4 days ago was in her Mummy’s tummy can’t hold her head up, can’t feed itself and can’t wipe it’s own bottom.

That’s a lot of pressure for someone with a hangover to deal with.

Deep down though, as I was cradling her in my arms, whilst her Mum laughed at my complete uncomfortableness, I did hear the faint faint sounds of my hidden biological clock ticking away.

I quickly silenced it however upon my return home with a glass of wine and some camembert – neither of which I would be apparently allowed to have if I was knocked up.