Clumsy on the Underground

Many cities have rites of passage that makes you a local. Whether it’s having your bag snatched, being mugged, falling asleep on a night bus or swearing when you hear ‘delays due to a body under the train’.

On the wet and dreary Saturday morning just passed, as I made my way from Clapham to Kings Cross, I had an accident which I think officially puts me one step closer to being a local Londoner.

Walking down the escalator at Vauxhall, I thought to myself how slippery it was in my trainers. The next thing I know, my feet had flown out from under me, my tailbone land on the edge of the escalator and I proceed to slide my way to the bottom of the moving staircase in a rather unladylike way.

Yes – I have officially experienced my first London Underground fall. Worldwide, there are around 10,000 escalator accidents a year – some resulting in death, and I am now officially a statistic. Fortunately though, I received nothing more than a rather sore bottom, a chunk out of my right hand (that did bleed quite profusely) and a rather bruised ego.

Not only that, my fall earned me some extra sympathy and strategically placed kisses-better from the man. Although only after a huge chuckle at my recurring clumsiness.

Ouch

An injury I think is worse than an illness.

When you are ill, you feel hopeless and can lie around listless. You don’t care that you haven’t showered, or that you are staying in bed all day doing nothing. In fact that is all you want to do.

An injury is different. I can’t do anything, I can’t work, yet I’m not sick so therefore am BORED out of my freaking mind!  My back is killing me so can’t sit down for too long, therefore can’t be at work.  I have to keep walking around, but yet can’t go anywhere interesting.

Not only that I can’t believe that my injury was caused by a sneeze.  Which is nearly as embarrassing as the time I broke my finger playing with a balloon. 

Not some interesting injury cause by a dangerous position on a sex swing.  Or by swinging on a trapeze.  No, by SNEEZING.  How very very dull and embarrassing.

And for everyone who knows me, they won’t be surprised at all.  Which is in fact even sadder.