Monday, October 5, 2009

Read Me Like An Open Book

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single girl in a group of loved-up women must inevitably spill the beans about her sex life.

This was the case last Saturday night at my beloved friends Baby Shower.  It was under pain of something worse than death – having to discuss child birth, booties and how apparently some peoples sex life disappears for 18 months.  So really I had to take the plunge and save everyone from this talk. 

The night previous to the baby shower I went on a date.  To be totally honest it was possibly the first proper date of my life (The EX never once organised an outing for me, and the few other occasions were blind dates which don’t count).  He and I have been communicating fairly regularly the past few months and I wanted to see if I liked him when I wasn't completely shitfaced (We enjoyed a fairly public and apparently infamous drunken hook-up on New Years Eve)  Anyway to cut a long story short we went out on Friday night, and the night was lovely, he was lovely and I do like him when I’m sober.

And for the first time ever in my life, I didn’t particularly wish to discuss the details of our night with this group of women.  And I can’t figure out why. He was someone that the majority of the girls knew, but this wasn’t the issue. 

I am a communicator. I have been a communicator all my life. I have a few friends whom I email multiple times a day, have always had heaps of pen-pals, I text people fairly nothing-rubbish texts all the time just because I feel the urge to say something to someone (which has frequently scared people off because they don’t understand this is just what I do.  My drunken texts are infamous). Recently I was offline for a few days and got 3 phone calls asking if I was ok because people hadn’t heard from me.  I’m also very open, I don’t believe in bullshitting people, and when asked a question I will answer honestly and in detail.  I was racking my brains all weekend as to why I felt uncomfortable sharing and the only conclusion I can come to is because I like him more than my usual conquests.  I still gave some general detail (I could see no other way to get these champagne filled girls off the topic) but none of the specifics that I would usually freely share.  This was also probably why I felt uncomfortable about Ali, Andre and their housemate teasing me about him.. because they tease me about EVERYTHING and I always just brush it off, but this weekend it really got under my skin.  Unusually I want to keep something private.

The whole thing left me very confused and I think the only thing to do now is have a glass of wine.

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