Successful Online Dating?

It was not long after writing yesterday’s blog that I sat down to eat my dinner with my parents. Who, decided it was once again time to start asking me when I was planning on finding a boyfriend.

My Mother suggested online dating. To which I guffawed. Honestly. Does she not know how horrible online dating is? Well obviously not because I have not told her about my online dating mishaps.

However advertising and women’s magazines are FULL of stories about  people who met the love of their lives online.

I decided to do some more research.. and to my surprise found that in the library (Classified under Dewey as Relationships) there was nearly a whole shelf on guides to online dating. 

I ended up borrowing a book entitled “Fine, I’ll go online! The Hollywood Publicist’s Guide to Successful Internet Dating” by Leslie Oren.  I am yet to read the entire book, however I have flipped through the first few chapters.

I found it highly amusing that it said that Leslie Oren thinks that “The vast majority of subscribers, you’ll find that most fall under the category of normal or regular”.

Well Leslie, I beg to differ.  Whilst I am sure that there are a whole lot of normal people on there, the vast majority of people I came across either had albums of guns on their facebook profile, ended up being two feet shorter than me, admitted to perving on 15 year old girls or decided it was socially appropriate to ask me in our first conversation whether my breasts were real. All indicators that these men are in fact single for a reason.

It’s not online this – but really, who is honest in their profile? I sure as hell wasn’t, in fact I didn’t even write mine, my friends did. I didn’t really want to talk myself up to much. According to this book, a profile should be the best possible version of your authentic self.

That’s all well and good but how can you put who you are on paper? You put on what you think is a hot flattering photo (that chances you are you have photoshopped slightly to make your thighs just a wee bit slimmer), you slightly over exaggerate your height, under exaggerate your weight.  You don’t mention the quirks that make you you (for example, no mention online of my love of romance novels, Harry Potter, knitting or eating cheese), rather write some fluff about how you like movies, drinks with friends and the beach.

I love the internet, the anonymity of it and being able to meet people from all over the world.  I love that some of you will read these words in the US, Japan or Spain. And yet, I think, when it comes to men, I’ll go about meeting them the old fashioned way.

By flirting with them in bars under the influence of white wine.