Visiting? Here’s some advice..

When you move to London, and get back into the swing of living, commuting, shopping and eating here, an amazing tansformation occurs.

All of a sudden, the gloss and novelty wears off and tourists start to annoy the shit out of you. Don’t get me wrong, this sights of the city still excite me but tourists in their thousands are so fricking annoying. Particularly on public transport. So please, if you’re coming to London, heed this advice:

1. You seem to be ignoring all common sense, but why not use the FULL LENGTH OF THE PLATFORM instead of blocking the entranceways with your wheelie suitcases and Harrods bags?
2. Likewise, the entrance or exit to a tube station is not the best place to stop and look at your map. Once again, have some common sense and just move 3 steps to your left, freeing the exit for those of us who aren’t lost.
3. Tube stations are equipped with wide gates for those with luggage. You will not fit your suitcase through the narrow gate – why do you even try?
4. Just because something is branded “London” does not make it an authentic British souvenir. Yet hundreds of you pour out of M&M world with London branded M&M merchandise.
5. For the love of all that is good and holy, STAND ON THE RIGHT.

Thank you.