Saturday, January 30, 2010

Beyond My Control


It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as you make the executive decision to cut something or someone from your life, it or they will immediately pop back into it.

Not that this is always a bad thing, but it leads to lots of confusion in my head.   This happened over the past week.  Just as I made the decision to stop whoring around and be off men for awhile, I make a date to go and see a guy I was really rather into. 

I thought to myself, it’ll be fine, it’ll be good to see him, because I do enjoy their company.  And it was good, too good. Now I have stupid feelings again.  I really would rather not have feelings for people, especially not until I am 100% sure that they reciprocate.  But this really is something beyond anyone’s control.  You can never help how you feel about something.  Whether its a boy, a food or a song.

But as I drove home I thought to myself, quit making such a big deal out of things.  It has been a habit of mine for years to over analyse situations, and think too much about things. Therefore, from now on, I am just going to take things as they come. Not make grand sweeping statements about how I am not going to do things, but just see what comes up on the way. 

Good plan. And an good weekend. Now where’s my wine?

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